Lighter Side of Hurricane Season 2004

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Lighter Side of Hurricane Season 2004

CHOOSE ONE: 2004 jokes, 2006 jokes NEW!

The jokes, cartoons, humor included here have been contributed by visitors (folks like you),

during the busiest hurricane season in recent times. A testament to the ability to smile at the face of adversity. PLEASE Scroll page down!

We didn't get any 2005 material --

9/22/06 UPDATE: Click here to see the new jokes we received (9/22/06), we weeded out the ones we had already and one not suitable for all audiences.

(But we do need new material!!! -- email us now! )

NOW we have 21 cartoons altogether

Cartoon#1: We came... - contributed by Lt Dan Byrd

Cartoon#2: Air traffic..- contributed by Dawn I Fields

Cartoon#3 - contributed by Dawn I Fields

Cartoon#4: We Moved! - contribution by Barb Fisher

Society Column - contributed by Lisa Herzog

You Might Be A Floridian If - contributed by Chris Heydolph

Things Charley and Frances Thought Us - Contributed by Dawn I. Fields

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Contributed by Lt Dan Byrd, Ret. ( Florida Marine Patrol ) from Port Charlotte

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Hurricane Holding Pattern awaiting clearance for Florida.....

Cartoon above contributed by Dawn. I. Fields from Cape Coral FL,( a bona-fide honest -to-goodness "native" Floridian )

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Cartoon above contributed by Dawn. I. Fields, Cape Coral FL

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Fla: "WE MOVED" (click cartoon to see next cartoon)

Cartoon above contributed by Dawn. I. Fields, Cape Coral FL

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The following item "Society Column Update" Contributed by Lisa Herzog, Florida

SOCIETY COLUMN UPDATE - September 2004

Rumor has it that Frances was married to Ivan but was having an affair with Charley. Charley used her and left, and she went looking for him--mad. Charley swept through Florida quickly while Frances (a woman scorned) followed close behind taking her time looking everywhere for him.

Ivan (vacationing in the Caribbean) finally got wind of what happened and is now looking for his wife and Charley. Ivan has vengeance in his heart and has the whole gulf coast running for the hills.

Actually Ivan was in the Caribbean with Jeanne and she is now "hot for him". Which is surprising because she just broke her engagement with Karl who is out looking for both Ivan and Jeanne. Karl's little sister, Lisa, is trying to keep him out of trouble. Matthew is Lisa's boyfriend who follows her anywhere.

And the rest of this story is....

( TO BE CONTINUED...)

(contributed by Lisa Herzog)

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The following item "You Might Be A Floridian" contributed by Chris Heydolph from Cape Coral, FL

You Might Be A Floridian if:

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§ You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names of Charley, Frances or Ivan

§ Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time

§ You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent the house color

§ You think of your hall closet/saferoom as "cozy"

§ Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in"

§ Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it

§ You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months

§ You, too, haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster

§ You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really means

§ You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood

§ You have a 5 gallon bucket of roofing tar in the garage

§ You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw

§ You're considering upgrading your 16" to a 20" chainsaw

§ Your street has more than 3 "NO WAKE" signs posted

§ You now own 5 large ice chests

§ You can cook "anything" on a propane grill

§ You own more than two portable propane tanks

§ Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down"

§ You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations

§ You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street

§ You're depressed when they don't stop

§ You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood, roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot or Lowe's on your speed dialer

§ You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own sand bags

§ You know what "Bar chain oil" is

§ You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector and face shield for Christmas

§ You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable

§ You own more than one 5 gallon gas can

§ You know how to "backfeed" 220 through the dryer plug

§ You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry ice"

§ Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy"

§ You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator, doesn't get electric

And finally, You Might Be A Floridian if:

§ You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate classifieds!

(contributed by C. Heydolh)

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Things Charley and Frances taught us A tree on the ground looks four times bigger than it did standing up When house hunting look for closets with lots of leg room. Water from the shower is much colder than water from the kitchen sink. AA, C and D are the only alphabet we need. The four way stop is still an ingenious reflection of civility. Radio can be the best way to watch television. Chainsaw wielding men are nothing to be afraid of. SUV's are the best makeshift tents on the market. You can use your washing machine as a cooler. It's your God given right to sit on your back porch and eat Chinese takeout by candlelight in your underwear. We shouldn't complain about "useless" tools in the garage-- we actually DO need a generator. You can' t spell "priceless" without I-C-E. Downed power lines make excellent security systems. Gasoline is a value at any price. Cell phones: Breaking up isn't hard to do. The life blood of any disaster recovery is COFFEE! The need for your dog to go out and take care of business is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm. Candlelight is better than botox--- it takes years off your appearance. Air Conditioning: BEST. INVENTION. EVER. Water is a comfort food. But 3 day old Cheetos are too. Shadow animals on the wall---Still fun. No matter how hard the wind blows, roadside campaign signs will survive. You should never admit to having power at your house in the presence of co workers or neighbors who do not. There's a plus to having NOTHING in the refrigerator. Getting through the day should be an Olympic event. Somebody's got it worse. If somebody's got it better, Obviously, they are getting preferential treatment.
Contributed by Dawn I Fields.